Friday, October 29, 2010

What I love about....

Jana...she left us all for college and she's having the time of her life. I love that she is strong and poised and confident. She sees beauty in everyone. She makes up her mind to do something and she does it...even if that something isn't the norm. She looks like a cowboy/girl on a horse! I love the shape of her face when she smiles. You can see strength.

Anna...her messy up do that has become her signature style. I love her heart that belongs only to one. She argues and knows she's right. She plays music with her heart and not her mind. The twinkle in her hazel eyes. That she's not ashamed to let me fill out most of her college paperwork. She'll be a good boss one day.

Braden...that his eyes speak. He's so handsome he takes my breath if he looks at me just right. I can't wait to see his wife on their wedding day. I love that the little boy who seemed so insecure struggles with vanity. He rides a horse like the cowboy he is and is proud of the bruises.

Amberly...her dimples and her dark skin. Her skin used to be so difficult and now when it's moisturized I just want to touch her. I love her athletic build. I wish she had the confidence that Jana does. The great thing about being the fourth child...your mama realizes that time heals.

Christian...his eyes crinkle when he smiles. He has charm down to an art form. He loves me almost as much as his daddy does. He calls me mama doll. His beautiful brown skin. His build, he's just like his daddy and has a mole in the same place as Amberly. His hero is his brother and Cam Newton and Javae. I love that he has heros.

Shawn...he loves me like Mr. Rochester loved Jane Eyre. He touches my face on an ordinary day. Though he's last on the list, he's first in my heart.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

These are a Few of My Favorite Things (about Fall)

1. My handcrafted chenille pumpkin made from 1940's chenille. My sister-in-law Robin and I bought one several years ago in Gatlinburg, Tennessee from a local craft vendor. We were already over our mini-vacation budget but we each splurged a whole $16.00! It is my single favorite possession and it adorns the center of my dining room table every year from September until November. I have been known to work it into the Christmas decor!

2. Pumpkin scented candles on my mantel.

3. The horses that stand under the same tree in the pasture straight across from my front glass door. It seems like they only stand in this spot in the fall.

4. The color orange.

5. ...and blue. WAR EAGLE!!!

6. Chili & Potato Soup with cheese and onions.

7. The kids play outside for hours on end.

8. Hearing their laughter through the window.


10. Watching the shows about haunted places on t.v.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Who I Want to Be

Joyce Christine Connell Horton was my maternal grandmother. I have not seen her face for over eighteen years but her presence is still so strong in my life. I think of her when my daughter comes home from college and my heart leaps, when my friend is mourning yet another lost loved one, when I dream of my grandchildren. All of the ways that I love come from the way that she lived. I, along with many others, thought that I was her absolute favorite! I don't have any illusions that she was perfect. She could gossip with the best of them and she would argue with herself. She had demons in her past, things she never got over.

I remember her cooking for days before the holidays, filling her freezer and counters for seven children, their spouses and twenty-five grandchildren. If someone passed away, she was the first one in the kitchen cleaning and cooking and taking care of everything behind the scenes. In her spare time she crocheted. She had counted stitches for so many years that her lips kept time long after she she quit counting. She had boxes of little baby shoes, caps and blankets that were ready to gift at the mention of a babyshower!

When I was expecting my oldest child I spent many hours thinking about the kind of mother I wanted to be. I made conscious decisions based on examples from mothers that I admired, including my own. I'm coming to a different place in my life and once again there are choices to be made. I want to love like my grandmother. I want my children to choose their mates based on the love they see at home because settling would be out of the question. I want to always be aware of the leap in my heart when my children come home again. I want to prepare scrumptious feasts to celebrate them so that they will always want to come home. I want my friends to know that I love them and that I'm there when they can't be strong. I want to play favorites with all that I hold dear. That's who I want to be.

Titus 2:4 that they admonish the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children...

Monday, October 18, 2010

My Son

Twelve years ago God answered my earnest prayers. He gave me what I asked of Him, a beautiful little boy. Braden followed a miscarriage and is five and six years younger than his sisters. S-P-O-I-L-E-D!!! The "new" soon wore off for his sisters! He was just far enough behind them in age to be a major P-E-S-T!!! He is 5th in line of cousins on both sides of the family and not the first boy on either side. Although everyone loves him very much, he probably doesn't ever feel like he is anyone's favorite. Factor in two adopted younger siblings and the fact that he gave up his spot as youngest for that of the middle child. Since he was old enough to walk I think I have been sensitive to these things for him. I've prayed for a close boyhood pal and have been disappointed that just one doesn't really stand out. I think the main thing that I've longed for and prayed for him is that he would feel really special to someone.

My prayed for little boy is growing fast into a young man! In early August I took him to seventh grade orientation. As we were walking in I noticed a couple of boys standing alone on the walkway. They were the cool kids and they were peering at everyone that walked by. My heart ached a bit that he would probably never be accepted by them. They didn't speak and we walked on. Coming toward us was a grandmother with a boy about my son's age. The grandmother looked tired and unkempt and the young man walked a little further ahead with his head kept down low. Braden said in passing, "Hi, Criag". I stopped short as I watched the smile on that boy's face as he raised his head and said hello back. A few minutes later we went to meet his new teacher. This time a girl was sitting with her mother. I noticed immediately that she was very anxious. Again, my son said hello and called the young lady by name. A smile lit up a shy but pretty face. I can't count the people that my son spoke too that day. He did not see social class or beauty or coolness. He saw people.

I don't pray for him in the same way anymore. While I was praying for him to have a close friend, he was making friends with everyone. When my selfish mother's heart was worried about him feeling special to someone, he was using his boyish good looks and charm to make others feel that they mattered.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Christian's Prayer

This morning I was standing in the kitchen and Christian said, "Mama did you pray for Braden's football team?" I said, "No honey, I didn't pray for them today...but you can". He stopped what he was doing, dropped his little head and this is what he prayed, "Dear Lord, please help Braden's football team and let them win a game. Please be with Jana today when she takes her test. Please make Rosalee stop biting PawPaw in the head. Please help Braden's team win a trophy and I love you and thank you."

Braden's team may not win this year, but if there's a chance, I'll bet it's this Saturday! Rosalee is a HORSE!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Today is a pretty typical fall Saturday for our family. Jana is on her way back to college a little early for a play that the upperclassmen are putting on. Anna is headed south for a band competition (I'm soon to follow). Daddy is staying home with the little one until Braden's football game. Amberly gets to spend time with grandparents tonight and watch some Bama football. Christin is tagging along to his brother's football game because in his own words, "that's my brother" and he's hoping to sneak onto the sidelines. It's a juggling act every single day! I'm trying so hard to slow down and remember that "I'm gonna miss this"!