Friday, July 15, 2011

"If there were no changes...there would be no butterflies"

Our Anna is wiggling in her cocoon! She is grieving for her last few weeks at home full-time. Oddly, this makes it ten times easier for me. This time last year I was in tears over Jana. She was so ready and excited, I think it felt more like she was leaving us. As all mama's eventually do, I've begun the process of nudging my little chick from the nest. I can handle this much better! I like spending this time thinking of ways to make the transition easier for her.

Jana is flying! Her wings are painted with all the colors that are her. She has been in North Carolina for the summer working an internship at a ranch. When I told her that her sister was having a hard time, she immediately concluded that Anna is a "late bloomer"...remembering that she worked through her own similar feelings mid senior year. Jana's call to counseling is unmistakable.

I can already feel the flutters of change that this season will bring for the younger ones. The last ten years were spent focusing on the girls and their various activities. That time with them was well invested and they are equipped. Without all of the functions that active high schoolers bring, Shawn has been able to spend countless hours with Braden in the canoe, fishing. Braden is developing an intense interest into anything wild. This week he has bruises on his arms from shooting arrow after arrow at the haystack in the yard. Not only has he been developing his archery skills but he's had time to think. I love listening to the things that he thinks about. He reminds me so much of my daddy.

The little kids are "home schooling" this summer. We don't home school but we've used this summer to explore the option. Since we live in a small town and our schools are not terrible, we probably won't home school but it has been a great summer of learning for both of them. I forgot how much I love to spend this kind of time with children. It has been good for all of us.

I'm not sad yet, though I know I will be. I've been here before and with that comes the knowledge that leaving the cocoon brings on the wings!