Tuesday, September 16, 2014


I'm not sure why writing seems to be so seasonal for me.
I seem to feel that urge to put the pen to paper when we go through a major life change. 

A lot has happened at our house since last year when I wrote about camp.  Our oldest settled into marriage as well as an instant family on a beautiful day in early spring.  It felt odd sitting in my seat as Mama-of-the Bride. This came too fast...but SHE has been walking toward that moment for her all of her life.  From that day forward her heart beat for another and so her daddy and I did what good parents eventually do and we stepped back.  Quite literally dancing on the stage between them was the little girl who became my granddaughter that day.   The icing on the cake!  It tickles me pink that she loves me.  So as my heart was truly grieving, a little imp was there to fill it back up.  My little grandbaby girl walked down the aisle of the church right between her daddy and her Jana to begin their new life. It was all as it should be for them.  I wasn't feeling it.  I can't even find the words to describe the day after their wedding.  I had an old fashioned, take-to-my-bed, shut the door, mama's not sane, I can't lift my arms, "honey, help me walk to the bathroom", breakdown!  Just as I began to recover and take notice that spring was making way for summer, my second daughter said "Yes" to her long time boyfriend and high school sweetheart.  So here we go again...

Some might say that the second time of anything is not as exciting as the first but I disagree.  Same excitement, just different.  I know some things this time around.  The first peek of my oldest in her wedding gown took my breath away. It was such a blur of excitement.  When my second born stepped out of the dressing room in her wedding gown, I knew to slow down, step back and breath in the treasure of the moment.  Although very different, each moment is etched forever in my memory.  I also now know how much I cherish time spent with my oldest and her family, post wedding.  I know that I love to cook big Sunday dinners and I just like saying to anyone who will listen "my kids are coming".  Hopefully the day after this wedding I will remember before I break that the seasons are just changing.

There are other, more subtle changes.  The heaviness that plagued our family for so many years after the adoptions seems be lifting.  PTSD, Attachment Disorder, anger issues and other hidden disabilities that forever defined us are healing.  When they do show up, it's harder to tell if they stem from those issues or if it's just age appropriate behaviors or miss-behaviors:)  The thing about living life, day after day,  is that given enough time it becomes their life too.  Their stories are now so entwined with ours that they know what to expect, even when everything around them is changing.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-22 - To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: